March 31 - Bridging the Divide: Finding Strength and Unity in Community

“The truth is, we are all one connected thing…” Ellen DeGeneres

In a world that so often feels fractured, a world where news headlines scream of division and social media feeds echo with angry voices, it's easy to lose sight of a simple truth: we are all connected. We are all human beings, sharing this planet, this experience of life. We are all mosaics, meticulously crafted from the individual tiles of our memories. Each fragment, happy or sad, contributes to the vibrant picture of who we are. We may come from different backgrounds, hold different beliefs, and walk different paths, but ultimately, we share the same fundamental desire – to live a meaningful life, to connect with others, and to make a difference in the world.

This inherent connection forms the foundation of what I believe to be one of the most powerful antidotes to the negativity that surrounds us – community. Communities act as bridges, reaching across divides and fostering empathy and understanding. As Desmond Tutu reminds us in The Book of Joy, "thinking about others...who have survived, even thrived...does help quite a lot to see yourself as part of a greater whole." By stepping outside our individual experiences and connecting with those around us, we begin to see the world through a broader lens. This shared perspective allows us to break down barriers and build bridges of understanding.

“The married are those who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy, and having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible.” Carolyn Heibrun

The Dalai Lama, in The Book of Joy, emphasizes that creating "a new generation of citizens with a different kind of mindset" is key to building a "healthy humanity."  Community is the fertile ground where such a mindset can take root. When diverse individuals come together, they act like a rich palette of perspectives. Each person contributes a unique color, and by blending these hues, we can create solutions with far greater depth and nuance than any single viewpoint could achieve. As Dacher Keltner explains in Awe, "successful groups move in unison and integrate different talents into a smoothly functioning, synchronized whole."

Think of a time when you felt a powerful sense of connection to others. Perhaps it was during a protest for a cause you believe in, a shared celebration of a cultural tradition, or simply a gathering of friends offering support during a difficult time. Keltner describes this phenomenon as a "convergence in mind" that leads to "goodwill, cooperation, and a transformed sense of self as part of a community." These moments of shared experience create a powerful sense of belonging – the feeling that you are not alone.

Human connection truly is our "built-in mechanism for resilience," as Julie Smith wisely states in Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?. When we struggle, when the world feels overwhelming, the embrace of a supportive community can be the life raft that carries us through the storm. Remember, as Becca Piastrelli reminds us in Root and Ritual, "a group is a gathering of people with whom you have ties."  These ties don't have to be based on blood or shared history. They can be forged through shared interests, a common goal, or simply a desire for connection.

So, how do we cultivate this sense of community in our own lives? The answer is simple yet requires consistent effort: reach out. Volunteer your time, join a club, attend a community event, strike up conversations with those you meet in your daily life. Open yourself to the possibility of connection, and remember, everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. Embrace the beauty of diversity, celebrate the good in others, and remember that even the darkness serves a purpose.

Activity: Don’t wait for a tough time to form a supportive community. In my community, there is a group called Lasagna Love. Lasagna Love is a nonprofit organization that delivers lasagnas and other home-cooked meals to families in need of some extra love and kindness. Volunteers prepare lasagna monthly, according to the dietary needs of the recipient. In a tough time, it is wonderful to have one less thing to worry about.

On the evening of September 11th, 2001, I was at Acme buying what I needed for dinner. People looked shellshocked and in a different world. I put the items I needed on the belt to check out. The woman behind me in line said, “Chili. Good idea.” I replied that it was what I had planned before that morning, before the attacks had happened. That shared exchange about food made us both feel better and less alone. We connected. Focus your attention today on the ways food can help form and strengthen a community. Find a way to get involved, whether through a group like Lasagna Love, donating to a food bank, making lunch bags for the homeless, or making banana bread for a friend.

In today's increasingly digital world, it's easy to lose sight of what makes us human. The constant bombardment of screens and social media can distract us from cultivating essential qualities like kindness, empathy, and resilience.

My book, Nurturing Hopeful Resilience,  guides parents and caregivers through the challenges of raising children in a technology-driven age. It explores the importance of instilling strong values in children from a young age to help them develop into compassionate, responsible, and fulfilled individuals.

Through a series of practical exercises and insightful reflections, this book delves into fourteen core values: curiosity, awareness, kindness, learning, self-awareness, fairness, playfulness, compassion, service, belonging, trustworthiness, authenticity, community, and responsibility. Understanding and nurturing these values can empower our children to thrive in a complex and ever-changing world.

This book offers a roadmap for raising children who are academically successful, emotionally intelligent, socially adept, and morally grounded. It encourages readers to prioritize human connection, empathy, and compassion over material possessions and fleeting digital distractions. By embracing the power of values, we can create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.